


another happy meal stimulus deal

by harmfulmyths



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Accidental Voyeurism, Alternate Universe - American College/University, F/M, I wrote this and even I don't know what Leon's gender is here, Mentions of Terminal Illness/Kaito's Vague Cough of Death, Momota Kaito Being Dumb, Other, bunk beds, implied/referenced past sexual assault
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-16
Updated: 2021-01-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 23:41:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28185561
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/harmfulmyths/pseuds/harmfulmyths
Summary: In which Kaito Momota is a college student, or: the touching tale of a future astronaut learning what the fuck sex is.
Relationships: Akamatsu Kaede/Oowada Mondo/Tsumiki Mikan, Kuwata Leon/Momota Kaito
Comments: 9
Kudos: 29





	another happy meal stimulus deal

**Author's Note:**

> With thanks and apologies to the Blackened Skies Discord server, who enabled this utter madness.

"Dude, you can bring Kaede over whenever you want to," Kaito says, and slaps his roommate on the back. "She's cool! It's fine, I'll just hang out in our dorm or whatever. Take the common area for as long as you three need."

Mondo grunts quietly, rubs a hand over the back of his neck. "Whatever." He's not looking at Kaito, but that's okay. Whatever makes Mondo happy, that's what Kaito wants, and it's that simple. Kaito wants everyone to be doing good, and if what Mondo needs right now is more time with his girlfriend Kaede and their mutual girlfriend Mikan -- well, that's not just good, that's great! Love is a powerful thing or whatever.

“Love is a powerful thing” -- that's a good maxim. You could put it on an inspirational poster, the pretty kind with cursive text over a starry sky. Kaito makes a mental note to text it to his high school friends at some point. It's a lot to balance, right now, keeping in touch with Shuichi and Maki while still leaving himself open to new people and experiences. But it's so worth it, though. Being a good astronaut is all about teamwork, after all, and there’s little that excites him more than that concept. He makes a mental note of it, and heads out.

Wednesdays are a thankfully light schedule for him, which means he's penciled in a good working block for homework. Kaito heads to the upper floors of the library and spends a good three or four hours studying at the honors section before he decides to takes a brief break. He’s on his A-game, today. He’s feeling great, really, and he’s got a slightly bruised apple from the official Honors College snack table thingy, and he eats it while he crosses campus. The bruised parts are a little too soft, but an apple's an apple, apple a day keeps the doctor away and gift one to the teacher too.

His phone buzzes in his pocket. Leon.

leon (abnormal psych project)  
  
uuuuurhgh this one fuckjng idiot in my class  


Leon is his new sidekick. They'd been together on a group project last semester, which Kaito had done almost the work for, but honestly, that was fine. It hadn't been a problem. He likes Leon, a lot. Leon has issues, more issues that Kaito could count, but Kaito doesn't mind. He likes a bit of a fixer-upper. He likes to be useful and guide people. And someone needs to be there for Leon, he thinks. Someone needed to be there for Maki. Someone needed to be there for Shuichi. If there's one thing Kaito's good at, it's being there.

Hey leon whats up  
nothing good thanks to these stupid fucks  
rescue me kaito  


Kaito walks a few more paces, and settles down on one of the wooden benches along the path. The wood's still a little damp from the rain last night ago, so he tucks his legs under himself so he doesn't get the seat of his pants wet. The air's still kind of humid, a bit sticky in his lungs; there's going to be a bigger storm coming up this weekend, he's heard. The real start of the rainy season, not just the drizzling they've had up until now. It's a bit of a shame; Kaito's one of the few students who actually uses the little grassy park in the middle of campus, but it gets all swampy whenever it's too wet. Kaito nearly lost a shoe in the mud when he'd tried to cross it in the fall, and it gets even wetter in the spring. Outdoors picnics are just one more fun activity students can't actually do on campus, no matter what the brochures had promised.

Ruff time, huh?  
How about let's meet up at the cafeteria for lunch and talk then  
k see you soon  
:))  


Kaito tucks his phone back into his jacket pocket, but doesn't get up. It was nice, to stop for a moment. Becoming a astronaut was an insane amount of work - he wasn't complaining, he loved every moment of study, it just was a fact. He'd known that it would be hard, even before he started. Adjusting to college had been strange, but worth it overall. He’d earned enough AP credits from high school to cover his first year, so he’s been exploring his options; astrophysics and plastics engineering have been his favorites, and he’s leaning towards those for now. He needs fluency in another language, too, for astronaut training; he’s not sure what that’ll be, but for now he's busy refreshing his Japanese.

Even living with his grandparents, he hasn’t been actively using it since middle school, which is some bullshit. His grammar and pronunciation are fine, his accent's perfect, but his vocabulary is shot, and he sounds like an idiot when he tries to speak it, stumbling over every third word. He hates that, sounding like an idiot, looking like an idiot. People don’t tend to assume that Kaito’s taking two STEM majors while active in the Honors College, along with a role in the school’s robotics club. People tend to assume that he’s stupid -- and, okay, in some ways, he can be, but stupid’s a dirty word. Kaito’s dragging himself to the top, hour by hour, friendship by friendship, and he doesn’t have time to waste if he wants to get to space. Kaito's a fighter, and he's not going to let the rest of his time on Earth pass him by.

A few students start spilling out the doors of the nearest building. He lets the trickle flow into a flood, then die down, before he makes his way to the cafeteria. Leon will have secured them a seat.

The moment he steps into the cafeteria, the stench of burned meat hits him. The food at their cafeteria is bad. Like, really bad. Like, when Kaito was at orientation, the guy leading their group warned them not to go to the sandwich station if they didn't want to get food poisoning. The pizza is so undercooked that the dough is raw. They once served Kaito a bowl of tomato sauce and called it gespacho. It wasn't even good tomato sauce! Kaito's been signing petitions to get their caterers changed since his first semester, and in that time shit's only gotten worse. Pretty much the only stuff that's really safe to eat is the french fries, so Kaito loads up a heaping plateful. Besides, Leon likes the fries, even if he never takes them for himself, so he's got to look out for his sidekick that way.

He scans the seating, and spots Leon quickly enough. That orange hair is distinct, even on a relatively liberal campus like this. He makes his way over, stepping around a hot dog bun someone had dropped on the floor. "Hey, man," Kaito says, and gives Leon a one-armed hug before slipping into his side of the booth. "So, what's up with your classmate, huh?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Leon says, and angrily mushes the burrito in front of him with a fork. It's lying in a crappy paper tray. He must have taken it from the gluten-free section of the cafeteria, which consists of a microwave and a mini-freezer with a handful of frozen meals. Kaito would tell him off for stealing food from the mouths of hungry students with Celiac's disease, but it's not like there's anything edible available right now, especially in the middle of the lunch rush. Kaito can let it slide.

"You sure you don't want--"

Leon rolls his eyes.

"C'mon, man!"

And Leon flips him off.

"Fine!" Kaito says. He starts picking at his fries. They are passable at best. "Is there anything you do want to talk about?"

"I dunno," Leon says. He hungrily eyes Kaito's plate. "What's up with you?"

So Kaito tells him. Leon's a reactive listener, humming and nodding in all the right places as Kaito talks about his Skype call with his grandparents last night, and this funny story he heard from one of his professors who also teaches at a high school nearby, and his conversation with Mondo this morning.

"So what are you doing Saturday night?" Leon says, when Kaito's finally talked himself out. "I mean, if your roommate's kicking you out?"

"What!?"

"He's putting the sock on the doorknob, so like. Where are you going to sleep?"

"...in my bed?" Kaito doesn't know what laundry has to do with this conversation.

Leon gives him a particularly pouty look. In Kaito's mind, Leon is the absolute master of condescending glares. Maki is too much of a softie, deep down, for her stares to actually hurt. Disappointing Leon feels disorienting, like the floor's been pulled out underneath Kaito. "Dude?" Leon says.

"What?"

"He wants to have sex. With his girlfriends," Leon says, rolling his eyes. "And you are not welcome to join." He reaches across the table and grabs a heaping handful of fries off of Kaito's plate. A bunch of them drop on to the table. Leon's always eating off Kaito's plate, instead of his own. It's kind of charming.

"What?!"

Leon snorts through a mouthful of Kaito's fries. "Dude, you're such a virgin."

Kaito's jaw snaps shut. Look, Kaito knows what sex is, at least vaguely. He'd attended health class, and then he'd read all the Scarleteen articles that Shuichi had sent him and Maki afterwards for a "real education" -- or, well, he'd skimmed them, at least. There was something vaguely off-putting about the whole shebang in a way he couldn't quite explain. Everything was written in a way that seemed so excited about the whole idea, and the whole tone was weirdly condescending, too. People always acted like sex was something so important, and he just couldn't relate at all. It was kind of frustrating, in a way he couldn't put his finger on.

"There's more to relationships than sex," Kaito says. "There's tons of reasons why Mondo could have invited them over! Maybe they're going to watch a movie together."

"Come on," Leon says, turning his attention to the fries on the table. "The only reason anyone reasonable would invite someone over to your dorm? Is to fuck. Your place is a pigsty."

"I've invited you over!"

"Yeah, dumbass, that's why I said someone reasonable! You guys don't even have chairs!"

"We do too have chairs! They're just... occupied. With stuff!"

Leon nibbles at one of the table fries and raises his eyebrows. Kaito glares back. Fine, okay, maybe Leon's got a point, their place can be kind of crowded. After all, there’s four guys in Kaito's quad. One bedroom is him, and Mondo. The other is Kiyo and Hifumi. They share a common room, a bathroom, and some shitty half-kitchen that only Kiyo ever really bothers to use. It’s a pretty good setup overall, even if there’s times that Hifumi manages to take over half the space with material from some project or another -- it gets annoying, working around that much wire, but Kaito understands that’s what happens if you’re working on large-scale sculpture or whatever. It wasn’t Hifumi’s fault the school’s BFA program required a public installation class as part of their pathway, and it wasn’t his fault they only gave materials lockers to seniors. It was just an unfortunate part of the way the system worked, and Kaito's cool with being flexible.

And, well, that wasn’t so bad until one day Kaito came back after his Logic Design lab only to find Mondo hauling these massive plywood sheets up the stairs of their building. That was when Kaito learned that Mondo’s Wood/Furniture major was, in fact, actually just a concentration of the school’s Craft and Material Studies major, which was, in turn, another BFA. Which meant that Mondo’s section of Form and Content was also required to do a public installation or… something like that? Kaito's own core requirements were complicated enough without trying to understand whatever bullshit humanities majors did with their time. He didn't quite understand; it seemed to involve a lot of weed.

Which -- fine. Fine! Kaito could put up with their entire common area being filled with screwdrivers and hammers and bags of clay and bits of 3d printed plastic and glue and paint and spools of wire and seemingly endless amounts of scrap wood. He didn’t really use the TV there, anyway, even though it was his because he was the one who bought it for the group -- if he really wanted to, he could just watch stuff on laptop, or hit up Leon and go hang over in his dorm. And common areas were overrated, when there was so much fun stuff to do on campus! He could go with his friend to the Starbucks, or the library, or even the other Starbucks. Kaito didn’t miss his couch at all. It had been a nice couch, once, before Mondo had knocked Hifumi's India ink onto it. That had been a loud fight.

Whatever Kiyo’s been doing in the kitchen, however, is pretty inexcusable. Half the time the place smells of rotten flesh. He’s been meaning to bring that up at their next dorm meeting, but their chore chart has mysteriously disappeared and Kaito can’t quite remember when he scheduled it in. He's got a sneaking suspicion that that's also Kiyo's fault, though he'd never snitch.

Maybe Leon's right. There's a reason they always hang out over at Leon's dorm, and that is -- well, Kaito doesn't know how to phrase this in a way that wouldn't upset Shuichi. Leon's... kinda gay? Faggy? Maybe that's not right to say, but Kaito doesn't understand how else he's supposed to describe what he's noticed. Leon's... different, in some ways. Definitely not properly manly, in the way that he or Mondo is. But not quite a woman, either? It's confusing, and Kaito gets this weird twisting in his stomach if he thinks about it for too long. But, yeah, if Leon's not willing to put up with their mess -- Leon, who is currently dipping the table fries into the ketchup on Kaito's plate -- then Kaito doubts an actual girl would be willing to put up with it without a good reason.

Hell, Kiyo's had a long-distance girlfriend as long as Kaito has known him, and Hifumi apparently met this Celes chick last semester, and neither of them have ever brought someone over, let alone their gals. Maybe Leon's on to something. Maybe Mondo really does want the dorm to himself for... private reasons. If that's the case, then he'd better make sure that--

"Earth to Kaito," Leon says, snapping his fingers in front of Kaito's face. "Come in, Kaito."

"Leon," Kaito says, "can I sleep with you?"

Milk spouts out of Leon's nose and splatters all over the table. He splutters, whacking his hand against the table while he tries to catch his breath. It's kind of impressive, actually. Kaito's a bit of an expert at coughing stuff up, and that's a pretty deep cough.

"You okay?" Kaito asks.

Leon wheezes, tears and snot and milk running down his face. He blinks heavily. Steadying himself against the table, he raises a shaky thumbs up.

"Okay, good," Kaito says. "So, like I was saying, I want to sleep with you--"

Leon lets out a strangled gasping sound, like a dying dolphin or something. His face is turning an increasingly hideous shade of red.

"Are you sure you're alright?" Kaito asks. Shit, is he choking?

Leon shakes his head, and then says, "Yes," which is a very confusing reaction. He raises one arm to his face, wiping the mix of snot and milk off his face with one sleeve. "I just- didn't know you felt that way about me?"

"Dude, you're my sidekick! You're my number one, and that means we got to look out for each other! A hero can always count on his friends to help. I trust you, so of course I'd ask to sleep with you if I'm getting kicked out of the apartment for the night! I'd do the same for you, if you were willing to hang out at my place."

"Wait," Leon says. "Let me get this straight. You want to sleep with me, and by that, you mean you want to sleep over. In my dorm. So your roommate can have sex, while we share--"

"A wonderful bonding experience!"

"Which is not sex."

"No," Kaito says, "remember, Mondo's the one having sex?"

Leon mutters, "At least one of us is getting laid," and starts picking at his own food.

Kaito picks up one of the remaining fries on the table. It only tastes a little milky. Leon gives him a judgemental look. "Seriously, Kaito, you know that they don't wash these tables?"

So then they snipe at each other for the rest of lunch about the five second rule and the appropriateness of eating off the table. It's passionate, heated, and all sorts of good fun. Leon's got a good spark of fight in him, and it's just a matter of pointing it in the right direction. Leon's got so much potential as a sidekick, it could make Kaito's heart burst. When it's time to split up, Kaito pulls Leon into a sidehug, and crushes him against himself, holds him close. Leon protests, dragged slightly off his feet, but he seems to like it well enough. Kaito waves over his shoulder as he runs off to class.

He arrives at class with fifteen minutes to spare, enough for him to snag a seat in the front row. He throws his bookbag over the back of the chair, flips down the the desk part of the chair, and pulls out his phone.

katio momoat krew (and maki too)  
  
New maxim: "Love is a Powerful Thing or Whatever"  
maki roll  
Why are you like this  
Cmon, we know you like it :)  
maki roll  
  
Shush! Sidekicks shouldn't be ignoring my heroic advice  
maki roll  
  
  
  
just shuichi  
Why are you two spamming a new emoji ever time I check this chat?  
It's fun!!  
And Maki likes emojis  
maki roll  
Don't make assumptions about me  
  
just shuichi  
Well... that's fair, I guess :))  
How are you doing, Kaito? We didn't really get to call last weekend  
Haahhahha, yeah!!! My roommates bringing his girlfriends over soon, so that should be fun  
maki roll  
Girlfriends?  
Yeah, Mondo he's poly I think… Kaede's one of his partners, and the other one is a nursing student and I don't know her.  
maki roll  
Okay  
just shuichi  
Wow, sounds like you're having fun! Maki and I are setting up plans for this weekend. I know it's a little last minute, but do you think you'd have time to drive out this way?  


Kaito's heart sinks.

It's probably like a movie and dinner kind of thing, I could swipe you into the dorms if you want to stay overnight :)  
It's us, and a couple of people we've met here (Kirigiri, Hajime, Sonia -- think I've mentioned all of them to you before?) You could bring along a few people too, I really would love to meet some of your new friends  
I don't think I'll be able to make that Haahhahha… got a lot of stuff to catch up on & I already promised Leon I would hang out w him this weekends  
maki roll  
Do you want to die  
I'm sorry I'd love to come it sounds awesome maybe another ti me??  
Seriously I miss you guys but I made a commitment already  
just shuichi  
You could bring Leon along? I really would love to meet some of your new friends, and I don't think any of us would mind  
It's kinda alot to spring on him last minute? Its nearly 3 hours roundtrip  
I really wish I could come, but I don't think it's workin out rn fuck gtg class starting  


Kaito mutes the chat and puts his phone down. His chest hurts, with a vague tightness. Fuck, he did remember to take his pills this morning, right? Great, he hates missing his meds. It fucks with his breathing. Not badly enough to be an actual issue, just enough to remind him that... well, that it could be one.

It's relatively late when he gets out of Logic Design; it's once a week, so the lectures run long, and the class ran overtime again. There's a certain darkness streaking across the sky, like purpling bruises. He grabs a shitty dinner from the cafeteria, some half-assed canned pineapple stir fry where half the rice is still uncomfortably crunchy, and gets in a short session at the gym. It's a little sad, being in there without a friend -- he really misses working out with Maki and Shuichi. He goes with Mondo now, but Mondo takes a lot of night classes, so it's not an everyday thing. It's important, though, if he wants to be an astronaut. With his health history, the physicals are what's most likely to keep him out of the program. He can't slack off, not even for a minute.

He walks back to the dorms slowly, taking in the last of the fading sunlight. His hair's still damp from the gym showers, and he lets it lie limply down, a few dark strands falling over his face. As darkness falls, he cranes his neck back, trying to see if there's anything he can spot. The light pollution around here is terrible, and it's hard to find anything even on a good night, when it's not cloudy out. This evening, he doesn't see anything.

When he gets back to the dorm, Kiyo's actually there. Of his three dormmates, Kiyo's far and away the one he sees the least -- and he doesn't really see that much of Hifumi, whose intense schedule rivals Kaito's own. So getting to see Kiyo out and about is a welcome change of pace. Plus, he can let Kiyo know about Mondo's plans! Unlike Hifumi, Kiyo never checks their group roommates chat.

"Hey, Kiyo!" Kaito says.

"It's Korekiyo."

"Mondo wants to bring his partners around to the apartment on Saturday, but he's--" Huh. What was the best way to phrase that? "Uh, he's kind of uncomfortable doing that with all of us around. You know, his girlfriend's pretty skittish around guys, so he wants to make sure she's got some space."

Kiyo gives him what Kaito's mentally termed The Look. It's terrifying. This fucking ghastly stare, with excessive amounts of eye contact, too. Kiyo's got weird eyes -- like, does he have contacts or something? -- and it's freaky to have that much intense attention directed straight into you.

"That can be arranged," Kiyo finally says, gently inclining his head. "I suppose... he would prefer us to leave them alone, no?"

"Yeah, my friend Leon said so. He's pretty smart when it comes to these things. Anyways, uh, they're coming over Saturday night, so we've all got to scram before then."

Kiyo presses down on the meat, and it sizzles loudly in its own juices. "So long as, when needed, the same courtesy will extend to me, I have no objection. Shall I inform Hifumi of these plans?"

"That would be great!" Wow, underneath all that creepy weirdness, Kiyo can be a pretty swell guy. Kaito flashes him a thumbs up. "Thanks, man."

"Of course," Kiyo simpers, the corners of his eyes crinkling with a smile. "I assume that Hifumi will spend the night with his girlfriend, and you…?"

"Me? I'll probably just crash at Leon's dorm," Kaito says with a shrug. "You need a space to stay? I know some people dorming over in South--"

Kiyo shakes his head. "No, I always have family nearby," he says, his eyes glinting yellowish under the crappy kitchenette lights. "I've been meaning to visit them again."

"Wow, that's awesome!" Kaito says. "I wish I had family in the area, but my grandparents live a couple hours away. I only really get to see them--"

And Kiyo has turned back to whatever meat he's manhandling on the stovetop. "Please leave," he says, without looking up from the sizzling flesh. When he pokes at it, it makes an ugly popping sound.

Kaito scuttles away in a hurry. Kiyo scares him, just in general. Kiyo's a freaky dude.

He retreats back to the safety of his room. Mondo's there, thankfully not doing much of anything, just resting on the bottom bunk. Kaito gives him a little wave before hauling himself up onto the top bunk. They don't have a proper ladder, so he has to use the desk next to the bed as a footrest to push off of. He flops back on his bed, and stares up at the glow-in-the-dark stars he stuck there the day he moved in. That was the first thing he did, actually. While Mondo and Kiyo and Hifumi all were carrying furniture up the stairs, Kaito was busy putting up posters and stickers and photographs of family and friends. The walls of the room are covered in an ever-shifting collage of the things Kaito loves. It's what makes the dorm into a home, he thinks, all the clutter. It's what makes it into a place he lives in, and not just another bed to rest his body.

Time flies by. Thursdays are always a blur; he's got most of his classes on a Tuesday-Thursday schedule this year, and he's in classes from 8AM to 8PM. Fridays are for catching up on all the homework he got assigned on Thursday, for desperately plugging away at simulated circuits and formatting papers in LaTeX. Kaito hates formatting papers more than anything else in the world. If he never sees another stylesheet, it'll be too soon. And then, on top of that, he's got his club meeting in the evening. Robotics is in build season right now, so there's not a ton for him to do, not until the basic machinery is built up, but it's important for him to be there and to stay focused on the project ahead of them. It keeps everyone's spirits up. Chiaki's the other main member of the coding team. While the others are dealing with some defunct servo, he talks with her about the internship she had as a tech artist at a games studio over the summer.

So when he rolls over and checks his phone Saturday morning, it's almost a surprise to see it's the weekend.

leon (abnormal psych project)  
  
were still on for tonight right  
Yeah! I can't wait to see you man   
cool cool  
ive got tutoring bullshit for math today but it runs long so ill just skip and pick u up at 5  
Dude aren't you like retaking that course already  
maybe  
Leon I expect nothing less than the best from my sidekicks  
And I know you don't see it but I know you're better than this!!!  
Go to your session!! I believe in you and I'm so proud of you and you're going to go so far someday!!!!!!!  
urgh ur as bad as kirumi  
i'll just text u when i get out then  
see u later  
Can't wait!  


Kaito stares at the screen for a bit, smiling to himself, rereading Leon's words over and over. It's been literally two days, but he's missed Leon so much. Back in high school, he saw Shuichi and Maki every day. He doesn't even have any classes with Leon this semester. It kind of sucks, seeing your sidekick so inconsistently. He makes whatever time he can, but it's just not enough. It could never be enough.

He eats a bowl of crappy cornflakes with a splash of Kiyo's almond milk, and then gets back to studying. He sets himself up in the main room, hunting and pecking out an essay for his current honors seminar. His laptop wheezes on his lap, but it's fine. It's not like he's got anything better to do, after all. He can't afford anything but the best performance. Who wants a mediocre hero?

Hifumi heads out relatively early to meet up with Celes, backpack slung over his shoulders. Kiyo leaves in the mid-afternoon, his hair groomed back more meticulously than than normal, piled up into a clean bun. It starts drizzling right shortly after Kiyo steps out the door, and Kaito has to let him back up to grab an umbrella and a pair of rubber gloves. Kiyo must really hate the rain if he goes to far as to keep his hands dry!

The whole time, Mondo hovers. Kaito can tell he's nervous as hell, and a nervous Mondo makes him nervous, too. Mondo's not the best at dealing with his anxiety. The cracks in their bathroom mirror can attest to that. Don't get him wrong, Mondo's a good guy! He gets what it means to be a real man, in a way few other guys actually get. He's a great workout partner, and passionate as hell. But if there was any way for Kaito to recommend Mondo hit up the the school's counseling services without getting punched in the face, well. He would have made that recommendation months ago, is all he's saying.

The rain outside gets worse and worse. It's dark out by now. Whether that's sundown or just the cloud cover is anyone's guess. The wind's whipping around the buildings, howling out a haunting song. If Maki were here, she'd mumble something about ghosts, and Kaito would scream at her in a panic, and Shuichi would quietly sit to the side, waiting to see if he needed to mediate anything. God, he misses them.

He's startled from his nostalgia by Mondo getting up. "Kaede just got here," he says, holding up his phone. He gives Kaito what is probably supposed to be a meaningful look.

Kaito closes his laptop. "No problem, man! I'll pack up, Leon's coming around to pick me up sometime after five. We're sleeping together"

Mondo watches him for a moment, eyes narrowed. "Good for you two," he finally says, "knew you'd get your shit together at some point. I'll bring up Kaede."

So Kaito'll have to get out of here soon! Better actually pack up. He grabs some shit he'll need tonight from the bathroom, drops it and his laptop off in his room, and texts Leon a reminder about their sleepover. By the time he's done with that, Mondo's already in the doorframe, Kaede a few steps behind. Awesome!

"Hi Kaede!" Kaito says, and raises up a hand for a high-five. She smacks his hand firmly, a good cracking noise ringing out through the apartment.

"Hey, Kaito!" Kaede's smile is so friendly. She's so chill. "It's good to see you! How have you been?"

"Good, great," Kaito says, and beams back. "Busy, but that's a given. You?"

"Yeah," she says. "I've started tutoring for music theory this semester, and it's so much fun! There's just something so satisfying about helping out other people, after all. It's so different from performance, but I'm enjoying it way more than I thought I would!"

"Awesome!"

"Yeah! Knowing I like teaching is totally going to open up new paths for me, and it's exciting."

"Depth and breadth," Kaito says, slipping into a shitty imitation of the head of honors, and Kaede laughs.

"Depth and breadth, exactly."

They look at each other for a couple moments, before Kaede's smile falters. Her eyes flicker over to Mondo, who shrugs. "So, uh, Kaito... are you... staying here?"

Kaito gives her a grin. "Nah, I'm going to spend the night with my friend Leon. Oh! He was a music major, you might know him?"

"I don't -- wait, uh... Leon Kuwata?"

Kaito flashes her a quick thumbs-up. "That's the one!"

"Yeah, I... know them," Kaede says. "They're -- well, they're passionate, I'll give them that!"

"He is," Kaito says, and tries not to sound too much like he's correcting Kaede. He's seen the way Leon scowls when someone calls him a them. Kaito sometimes gets the sense that Leon doesn't want to be thought of as someone living in the gender-neutral dorms, the same way Kaito doesn't want to be thought of as the former Make-A-Wish kid who got into college with a personal essay about remission. It's probably not a very good comparison to draw, but it's the only one he's got. Like... it's important to who they are, it's shaped them, but it's not their everything, you know? You can't sum them up with a pronoun or a visit to NASA headquarters, with anything but a dream.

That's what people are made of, hopes and dreams and the ambition to make them come true. That's what he likes about Leon, that he's a dreamer. He loves Maki and Shuichi, but they're quiet people, glad to live a stable and content little life. Leon's got more dreams than there are stars in the sky, and if Kaito could help him achieve even one of those, their friendship would be more than worth it.

He wonders if that's what Mondo sees in his girlfriends, that kind of ambition. Or maybe it's more of a sidekick thing?

"Oh, Mikan just arrived!" Kaede says, her face lighting up as she looks at her iPhone. "Mondo, you should go get her, it's freezing out."

Mondo gives her a thumbs up, and then walks out, leaving Kaede and Kaito alone. The silence between them is not exactly awkward, but it's not comfortable, either. Like, they're friends, but it kind of seems like she's a little frustrated he's there? He doesn't get it. Kaito pretty much always wishes he had more people around. He's spent enough time alone to know he hates it. He'd rather be around people who hate him than ever lie alone again.

Still, when the door opens and Mondo returns, it's kind of a relief.

"Hey, Mikan, this is Kaito, we were telling you about him the other day." Kaede's smile is infectious. She gestures at quiet, cowering girl. "Kaito, this is Mikan! Our girlfriend."

Kaito would have completely missed Mikan if Kaede hadn't pointed her out. She's the only one of the three he hasn't met before. If she wasn't dating two of his friends, he probably wouldn't have noticed her before the day she got up on stage to get her diploma. Mikan's tucked herself behind Mondo, her boyfriend's muscular form and flowing coat nearly obscuring her entirely. She peaks her head out around Mondo, her wet bangs clinging to her face, biting her at her lip. She's got this kind of nervous aura around her. Kaito wants to scoop her up and train her and make her into the best version of herself. He holds back, though, even though the way her eyes don't leave the floor makes his heart break. Eighteen credits and three sidekicks is probably his limit. Also, he doesn't think Mondo would take well to him stealing his girlfriend away, even if it was in a completely platonic self-improvement kind of way. 

"Say hi," Kaede prompts, and Mikan startles a little.

"H-hello!" she says, clutching to Mondo's sleeve. "N-nice weather we're having...."

"It's raining," Kaito says.

"I'm sorry!" Mikan squeaks. She tugs at her unevenly cut hair. Rainwater drips from it to the floor. "I, I'm so sorry! I prepared so, so much for this conversation, and I ruined it already... you must hate me...."

Kaede crosses her arms. "He doesn't hate you, Mikan."

"B-but--"

"It's okay, Mikan," Kaito says. At his words, tears well up in her eyes. Jesus Christ, no wonder Mondo wanted the apartment completely cleared out. This chick's got the worst social anxiety he's ever seen. And he knew Shuichi in middle school! Poor girl. "I'm a tough guy! As long as you don't hate outer space, there's no way you'll make me mad. I think it's awesome to meet you, 'cause you make my friends so happy!"

She's crying like crazy now, smiling through her tears. "Ehehehehehe... t-thank you! That's the nicest thing anyone's every said to me! Thank you, Kaito Momota!"

He grins back at her, and watches as Mondo wraps a protective arm over her shoulder. Kaede walks a few steps closer, and grabs Mikan's free hand in hers, squeezing tightly. She meets Mondo's gaze, right over Mikan's head. Mondo's flushed heavily, and clearly tense, but he still looks happy. They all look happy. Happy and in love.

Something ugly and jealous bubbles up inside of Kaito, the bitter taste of bile popping at the back of this throat. "Right, I'll be heading out then," he says, but they don't seem to notice. They're caught up in their own little world, where it's just them three forever and always, as eternal as starlight. There's this contented golden glow coming off the three of them. He's grossed out by his own envy. He knows he'll never feel like that, so what's the point in obsessing over it? "Just... gonna grab my stuff and go, I guess."

He turns on his heel, and stalks to his bedroom. Heaves himself up onto the top bunk, and rechecks that he's got up everything he'll need for tonight: toothbrush, pajamas, tomorrow's meds tied together with a plastic band, his phone. That'll do. Kaito doesn't need much, and he can borrow anything extra off of Leon or Kirumi. He flops back in bed. Listening to the rain prattle down, he checks his phone to see if Leon's texted him yet. Kaito's not waiting outside, not when he's got a perfectly warm and dry bed right here. He'll go down when Leon's there and not before.

He's just confirmed he's got no new messages, just pocketed his phone, when suddenly the bedroom door bursts open with a flurry of giggles.

"Nice place," Kaede says, and Kaito freezes in place, staring up at the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck to the ceiling. Shit, this is -- fuck.

"'s my room," Mondo says.

"I-I like the posters... they're, they're so cute...."

"Those are Kaito's, uh. Except for that one. That one's mine."

"Jeez, Mondo, seriously?"

"Ehehehehe, Mondo really does like girls on bikes!"

"Well, it's tacky. But... she is pretty cute, so I guess it's alright!"

Oh, fuck, he's intruding on Mondo's tour of the place! Kaito doesn't know much about dating, but that does seem like a romantic activity, getting to know your boyfriend's home. Well, uh. The best course of action is probably to stay right here, right? That way, he can just creep out when Mondo brings the girls around to look at their bathroom. Along with the cracked mirror, they've got even more art supplies stored in there. It's an especially interesting stop!

"Are we just going to mock my taste in pinups or are we going, to, uh...."

"Get right down to it?" Kaede says. The bed creaks a little. One of them must have sat down. "I'm ready if you are!"

"I, I prepped back at my place... s-sorry if that was presumptuous of me...."

"No! That was awesome planning, Mikan. Great job."

Mondo hisses through his teeth. "So long as all the guys are out of here, I'm good. Don't want Kaito or fuckin' Hifumi walking in on us."

"Well, Kaito definitely left," Kaede says. "I heard him say he was going, and then a door closing, so it's all good. Don't worry about it!"

The bed creaks heavily, and Mikan squeals out, "Come on, Ma-masssterr…."

It's at precisely that point that Kaito realizes he might have made a mistake. Just maybe. It's possible he might have misread a few signals, here and there.

"You-- you don't have to call me that," Mondo mutters, just barely loud enough for Kaito to hear. There's a pinched nervousness to his voice that betrays that he rather likes it. Kaito can see him, in his mind's eye: perched on the edge of the bed, tension squaring off his broad shoulders, looking down at the floor while flushing with nerves.

"Just relax, babe," Kaede says.

Mikan's giggling like crazy. "Mistress Akamatsu," she says, "I've -- I've been such a, a bad girl, and you should punish me…."

Oh, jeez, Kaito hasn't heard that kind of language thrown around since the last time he saw Miu. He could have done without that. 

"Punish me, punish me, punish me!" Mikan squeals down below.

"You are," Kaede says, and snorts back a giggle -- fuck, he's heard her use that exact tone of voice in class before, he's never going to hear her the same way again -- "Mikan, you are too impetuous."

Seriously? Impetuous? The hell are they saying? Is this what dirty talk is? Dirty talk probably isn't supposed to involve the kind of vocabulary words he snuck in on cheat sheets when he took his SATs.

"I'm sooooorryyyy," the other girl whines. "I'm sorry for demanding p-punishment, like a slut… don't, don't you think that I should be punished for that? Mistress?"

Kaede absolutely barks with laughter. "Get over here, silly." A weird vibrating noise starts rumbling out, and Mikan's making appreciative noises over that, and then Mondo lets out this, this fucking wolf-whistle Kaito's never heard before, and in all that commotion Kaito nearly misses his phone starting to vibrate in his own pocket.

Almost, but not quite. He shoves his hand down his pants as fast as he can to grab it. His fingers are shaky. He nearly messes up the swipe to hang up on Leon. A few seconds later, he gets a text.

leon (abnormal psych project)  
  
WHERE THE GODDAMN HELL ARE YOU  
IT'S FUCKING POURING YOU ASSHOLE GET OUT HERE  
I'm so sorry Leon I kinda can't some out right now  
excuse you I have been waiting here for like forever? what the fuck is WRONG with you  
Mondo is kinda having sex right under me so I can't get out of the top bunk  
Kinda gross but whatever  


There's a long pause in the texts.

kaito your not joking right because thats not funny if it is  
No I'm pretty trapped here  
Sorry to cancel on you like this but yeah I'm kinda not going anywhere hahaha  
oky  
hang tight i can take car of this  
i promise u man it's gonna b ok  


Mikan's sudden wailing startles Kaito enough that his sweaty shaking hands slip on the phone. Right, no more of that, he'd prefer not to get found out conking by Mondo over the head with a dropped Samsung Galaxy. He slides his phone back into his pocket.

Fuck, what did he do to deserve this? Kaito's not a pervert! He's never even watched video porn, not unless you count the pop-up ads he sometimes got while looking for shonen manga scan, which he doesn't. And there was the time he accidentally walked in on something Miu was doing in the computer labs, though he didn't really see anything more than the PornHub logo. And, okay, there's also those weird clips he got really into at one point where some guy would -- but that's not real porn, it was erotica at worst. After all, there was, like, no insertion or anything going on there, not like whatever's happening in the lower bunk.

Because there's some sort repetitive fleshy slapping noise going on down there, and it's. Well, it's kind of the least appealing sound he's ever heard, to put it bluntly, and he went to high school with both Miu and Kokichi. It doesn't help that Mikan is making these little mewling sounds and hiccups. Her voice is so high, it's kind of like listening to a Care Bear fucking.

"Oh-- yeah, yeah, that's good-- do it clockwise," Kaede gasps. There's a grunting sound from Mondo, and the bed creaks, and then there's this weird crooning sound and Kaito kind of wants to scream. He can't, though. He really, really doesn't want to disturb them.

Fuck -- his roommate and his friend and their girlfriend are having sex. They're having sex right underneath him. They don't know that. Well, they know they're having sex, they just don't know the part where Kaito's on top. Kaito doesn't really want to be on top of Mondo's sex, really but it's fine, they're enjoying themselves.

There are worse people to be on top of than Mondo and his partners, of course. Kaito's not blind -- he lives with the guy, they work out together, so he's seen Mondo in a wide range of undress. He can say, pretty objectively, that Mondo's a handsome guy. He's got all that defined musculature, and that's not just for show. He's been Mondo's spotter. Mondo's crazy strong, could pin someone down or lift them up with no problem. It wouldn't even be difficult for him, to do sex. And Kaede and Mikan are pretty attractive too, of course. Like, Mondo's clearly got a type, and that type is curvy.

Honestly, how the hell did the three of them fit on one twin-sized bunk? The logistics of that are crazy. Mondo's a big guy, and Kaede and Mikan -- well, like he said, Mondo's got a type. They're both solid girls. How is there any room for all three of them down there? There's never enough room for both him and Leon on a bed whenever they hang out in a dorm room. He can't imagine how the logistics of the lower bunk would work out. It would be like the world's most insane game of Twister, or like, wrestling.

Mondo lets out this low, growling sigh, and fuck, that does something to Kaito. He clenches his hands into fists, and tries to drift off.

So, anyways, yeah! Wrestling! Wrestling is great. He wonders if Leon's into wrestling -- well, Leon doesn't seem like the sporting type, but it's wrestling. It's buff guys in cool costumes duking it out to prove who's on top! What's not to love? Kaito is so into wresting, it's not even funny.

Oh, oh god, what is that noise? He didn't know a body could make that sound. It's like some sort of squelching, or a really wet and long fart. Mikan's definitely enjoying it, though. By this point, Kaito's figured out why they needed to kick everyone out. Sex is loud and Mikan is louder. Like, there's all these thumping noises, and weird smacking sounds, and everyone's verbalizing very enthusiastically.

Kaito needs to change the way he's thinking about this, right? He's present for one of the most beautiful things people can do together: make babies. Well, uh. He's pretty sure that Mondo and Mikan and Kaede aren't trying for a baby. Also, he doesn't know how that would work with two girls, even if there is a guy there, but. Well. Making babies is most of what he knows about sex, honestly. If he gets out of this room without Mondo killing him he swears he will read those articles that Shuichi sent him.

"Master!" Mikan yells, her voice cracking at the end. "Master, please, f-fuck my asshole, Master!!!"

Okay, first off, that woman really does have a set of pipes. For a chick with such a squeaky voice, she can bellow. Secondly, he hadn't known you could have anal with a chick? Huh.

There's some reshuffling down below, and then some more. Rhythmic thumping. Oh, fuck, the whole bed is shaking from Mondo fucking into -- Kaito doesn't want to be thinking about this! Isn't like, actually experiencing it enough? Does he have to hear Kaede whine as the buzzing starts back up? Can't he turn he just fucking turn his brain off for this, and not remember that sound Kaede apparently makes when someone grabs her tits?

Oh holy shit, Kaito didn't -- like, is he still. Is he still a virgin at this point? Does this, like… count, towards sex points? Are sex points even a real thing, or were they made up by one of those shitty teen sleepover movies he watched with Maki, trying to catch her up on the real world?

Fat lot of good he did her, then. Kaito doesn't live in the real world. Kaito lives in cartoons and comic books and stories where the heroes always triumph and the villains eat shit. Kaito lives with his head so far in the clouds that it's breaking out of the atmosphere, and he's stuck staring at stardust. Kaito lives in a goddamn bed in a room with white walls and the knowledge, deep down, that he'll never be accepted to the astronaut program because of his disabilities. Kaito's always been trapped in a bed and he always will be and fuck you for thinking he could ever amount to anything. Kaito's not Mondo, a girl on either arm. Kaito's a fucking cripple dweeb who latches on to guys who are even weaker than him. How pathetic can you get?

There's a distant pounding at the quad's door.

The bed stops rocking.

He can hear the knocking, loud, and insistent. Well -- less knocking, more like someone's trying to kick down their door. There are muffled screams in the distance, an angry voice hollering and howling with rage.

"W-we should get that," Mikan whimpers, back to her mousey tone of voice. "I-I hope we didn't...."

"I'm sure it's fine," Kaede says. "At worst, we've gotten another noise complaint. Which would be bad, but! We can deal with it."

"I'll get it," Mondo grunts. Kaito absently watches as he comes into view, pulls on a pair of sweatpants, and walks out of the dorm room. The whole things takes a moment to register, because Kaito's still feeling a little floaty and not-quite-there -- but holy shit. Mondo's gone? Mondo left? Kaito can get out of this damn bed without immediately getting murdered! Oh my god, he's fucking free!

He jumps down from the top bunk, and lands somewhat inelegantly, but who cares? He's on the ground! He's out!

Behind him, Mikan gasps, and he can practically hear her burst into blubbering tears. "W-what the hell?" Kaede cries out, more shocked than mad.

"Sorry guys, I'll get out of your hair!" Kaito says, flashes a peace sign he hopes they see, and dashes out of the door without once turning around. He's hear more than enough, he doesn't have to. You know. See it, too.

Of course, he then immediately runs into an argument between Mondo and Leon. Out of the frying pan and right into the firey pits of hellfire, it seems.

"Look, I don't know where your damn idiot boyfriend is!" Mondo snarls. He's hunched over, right in Leon's face. "Get the fuck out!"

"You fucking idiot!" Leon snaps back. He's shivering, but doesn't back down an inch. "You are so stupid! I know he's here!"

Mondo huffs. "Grow the fuck up, Leon. Stop making shit up."

Leon flinches like he's been hit. Kaito steps in, shoulders his way between them, pushes Mondo away. "Okay, time out, guys."

"W-what," Mondo says, pure shock evident in his tone.

Oh, fuck, he's going to have to explain himself. "I, uh. Top bunk."

"...what the hell," Mondo says, his voice burning with cold fire. He steps forward, tugging on the band of his sweatpants, teeth bared. "What the fuck are you doing, you bastard!?"

Well, Kaito's mostly enjoyed his time on Earth. He screws his eyes shut, and waits for the inevitable punch of death. It doesn't come, and keeps on not coming, and eventually he peels his eyes open. Kaede's standing in front of him, her arms outstretched. She's thrown on one of Mondo's larger T-shirts, but it doesn't hang quite low enough to cover everything. Kaito turns his head to the side, and trains his eyes on Leon instead.

"Enough, Mondo," Kaede says. Her voice is firm. "I know you're better than this."

"But he--"

"Enough!" Kaede's voice cracks. "Mondo, please. Just -- just, for once, please. Please just listen."

For a moment, Kaito's terrified that Mondo's going to shove her to the side, and just kill Kaito right there and then. But, slowly, slowly, he stills and nods.

Kaede turns. It's at this point Kaito realizes she's not wearing a bra. "Explain yourself," she says, and her voice is ugly.

Kaito opens his mouth, and it all comes tumbling out. He can't stop himself, can't edit it into something palatable. It's raw, unfiltered. Fuck, why didn't he know better? What kind of idiot is he, why can't he just understand what other people want? It's his fault, fuck, why did he do this. Like, he didn't know, but that's not a real excuse, he should have known. Why can't he just know everything? Why can't he study everything, and be the perfect hero everyone needs? Fuck, he's so sorry. Oh god, is he the villain--

Leon takes his hand. Leon's hands arewet, and heavily callused, but his touch is so gentle. Leon wouldn't do this for a bad guy. He lets himself finish talking.

Once Kaito stumbles over his last few words, Kaede sighs. "Okay," she says. "I get it."

"I-I'm sorry," Mikan says -- when did she come into the room? "We should have, have checked the room for eavesdropping perverts first anyways --oh! Not that I th-think you're a eavesdropping pervert."

"I mean, I'm... still pretty pissed off," Kaede continues. "Like, it's going to take me some time to forgive you... but we fucked up, too. I shouldn't have assumed you left, and I'm sorry that -- that was. Clearly an upsetting experience for you, too."

"No shit," Leon snaps, throwing Mondo a dirty look. He runs his thumb over Kaito's knuckles. 

"I think," Kaede says, raising her voice slightly, "we should all just seperate for now, and we can talk about this later. But! We are going to talk about this!"

There's a general muttered consensus. No one wants to keep this going, not tonight. Leon and Kaito head out the door, still holding hands. Leon's leading, pulling him forward. Kaito feels like a moon trapped in his orbit, forever revolving around Leon, Leon, Leon. They step out of the quad, and into the stale air of the hallway outside. It's never tasted more freeing.

"Uh, Leon?" Mondo's quiet enough that Kaito barely hears him over the ringing in his ears.

Leon's hand tightens around Kaito's. His other rests on the doorknob. "Yeah?"

"...sorry about. 'bout saying you're a liar."

Leon slams the door shut, loud enough to for the sound to hurt. Mikan and Mondo and Kaede are cut out of view. The crack echoes down the hallway, the sound of something broken repeating. One of the little paper stars on the door flutters down, and Kaito watches its fall to the floor. "Let's go," Leon says to Kaito, and Kaito nods, and they descend the stairs and walk down to the entryway and Kaito looks out at the torrental rain falling like sheets outside the enormous glass windows.

"You stood out in this rain for me?" Kaito says.

"Stupid," Leon says, but the scowl on his face is undercut by how hard he's shivering. His clothes are soaked through, and all but plastered to his body. Kaito should have noticed that before, should have offered him his coat. "Kaito, you're so stupid."

And - yeah, that is kind of stupid thing to fixate on. Standing out in the rain is the least of what Leon's done tonight. Fuck, how's Kaito supposed to take that? He's supposed to be okay. He's the knight in shining armor. He's the hero, and Leon is his sidekick, but everything's been turned upside-down and the damsel in distress came back to save him from his tower. Sure, Leon didn't exactly succeed, and a bunk bed isn't that much of a tower, but despite himself, Kaito feels an oddly pleasurable warmth. Leon cares about him. There's someone standing at his back. Someone brave, and powerful, and strong.

"...thank you," Kaito says. The words feel foreign in his mouth.

Leon snorts at him. "'s like you said. A hero's gotta rely on his sidekick."

But Leon's not just a sidekick, though. He's shown that tonight. He's something else. Something more. Not a rival, maybe, but some other kind of equal. Kaito can't put his finger on what, but he's sure he'll think of it eventually. The word will come to him. He lets the thought flow past, lets it wash away with the rain slipping down the glass panes. Kaito rests a hand on the windows, and drags it down, leaving behind blurry streaks. "Yeah. Yeah, I do."

He watches Leon's reflection in the darkened glass. Leon's so pretty, and Kaito suddenly wants to --

Whatever relevation he was in the middle of is interrupted by thundering footfalls. "I'm sooo sorry!" Mikan squeals, thumping down the stairs. She comes to a quick stop in front of them, panting slightly. "I'm so sorry, I- I shouldn't have interrupted, I didn't mean to-"

"Uh, pull down your skirt," Leon says, averting his eyes from Mikan's panties. Somehow, her skirt had gotten twisted into her purse's clasp, and it was pulled to the side.

Mikan quickly rearranges her clothes, her eyes flooded with tears. "I'm so sorry," she whines, like it's her maxim. "I, I just wanted to bring you two this." She unclips a large black cylinder from the side of her purse, and holds it out. "It's, it's an umbrella!" She shuffles in place, dragging her sneakers on the carpeted floor, half-smiling. "I thought you two might need it to cross campus. Oh! Not- n-not that you need anything of mine, of course. Or- or you can feel free to use me as an umbrella! Hehehehe."

"Dude," Leon says, "how, exactly, would the human umbrella thing work? I'm not carrying you across campus."

"I'm so sorry! I--"

Kaito elbows Leon in the side. "Thank you so much for the umbrella," he says.

Leon rolls his eyes. "Thanks, I guess". He reaches out to take it from Mikan's arms.

"You're welcome!" Mikan squeaks, and her eyes widen, and she starts digging through her purse. "Oh, oh my god, I almost forgot to give you this too, I'm so sorry...."

"What is it?" Kaito steps forward, cranes his neck to get a better look at what she's doing

"Y-your meds," Mikan says, quietly, pulling them out and pressing them into his hand. Kaito looks down at the fucking little orange bottle, with the cap twisted on upside down, with the unread instructions halfway peeled off the side, at this month's half-finished blister packs of pills. Oh. Oh fuck, he'd almost forgotten these upstairs. "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to p-peek or infringe on your, your privacy, I'll let you snoop around my room and you can piss on anything you want to piss on--"

"Mikan, it's okay," Kaito says. "I -- you're a nurse, you… it's fine. I'm gonna need these in the morning, you're right."

"O-okay." Tears well up in Mikan's eyes again. "I'm so sorry, I just-- I'm so sorry, I, I--"

Kaito claps her on the back, and she lets out a nervous squeak. "Seriously, don't worry about it," he says, a bit too loud, and then drops his voice low. "I'm fine, we're cool, everything's in remission. The last thing I would have wanted it to interrupt you guys again by dropping by to pick this shit up. So just get back in there and have some fun with your boyfriend and girlfriend!"

Mikan nods, tensely, and runs back up the stairs, pausing at the landing to look back. Kaito gives her a nod and a grin, and waits for her to disappear up the flight of stairs before turning back to Leon. Silently, Leon opens the umbrella inside the building, before stepping out the doors without waiting. Kaito has to half-jog to catch up.

It's cramped under the umbrella, once Kaito manages to duck under it. It's never quite enough room for two people -- why don't they just make the damn things big enough in the first place? And Leon hogs the available space, so Kaito's stuck crouching slightly, trying to keep what he can out of the pouring rain.

They walk across campus together. The puddles are horrible. Water keeps splashing up with every step, and the cuffs of his jeans are soaked through. Everything is wet and gross and bleak and grey and hopeless and Kaito's mad, mad at himself for fucking everything up so badly. And Leon's in a bad mood too, which doesn't help. Why does Kaito always have to be the bigger man? Why does Kaito always have to be the one who's okay and happy? They used to talk about that in group, back in the hospital, a lifetime ago. Kaito's not that kid anymore. Kaito's got a future, when so many don't. But right now, Kaito is getting rained on, and it sucks.

Getting to Southside is a relief. Kaito can feel his mood improving the moment he steps into the dry warmth and Leon slides the umbrella shut. He holds back while Leon checks them in for the night, only stepping forward to flash his student ID when they ask for it. He lets Leon lead him through the halls. Southside looks almost identical to his building, but he thinks the pattern on the carpet might be different. He studies it as they walk along, leaving a wet dripping trail behind them. When they get to Leon's room, it takes Leon a couple tries to insert his keycard correctly.

"Kirumi's on RA duty tonight," Leon says, sliding the umbrella shut, "so. We should have the place to ourselves." He fingers the tight little package the umbrella's been wrapped into.

"Sounds great!" Kaito says, and gives him a cheerful grin. He likes Kirumi, she's nice, but it's nicer to just be there with Leon, and not have to worry about disturbing anyone.

"Yeah," Leon says, bitter. "Just great."

"Dude."

"Sorry," Leon says, and sighs. He toes out of his shoes, and lays the umbrella on top. "I'm just -- urgh. I feel fucking gross, man."

"You okay?" Kaito says. "You got rained on a bunch, you better not be getting sick or something."

"No, just... earlier. You know. Reminded me of bad shit."

Oh. Oh crap.

This, this is the thing Kaito doesn't know how to deal with. Whatever the hell it is, Leon doesn't want to talk about it, and Leon will complain about absolutely anything. But, say, when his roommate situation with Teruteru fell apart, Kaito didn't hear a peep about it until Leon had already moved out. He knows Teruteru well enough to get a sense as to what might have happened, but if he pushes for specifics, he's might get shut down again. This the closest they've ever come to actually talking to other.

"I need to take a shower," Leon says. He doesn't move, just stares down at the floor.

"I'm fine," Kaito says. "Hey, look at me, man. I'm fine, you--"

"Stop trying to make it okay!" Leon snaps, without looking up. "It's not okay, alright?!"

Kaito takes a step back, his jaw snapping shut.

“It’s okay for things to be bad." Leon says it like a maxim, a mantra, like he's trying to make himself believe it. “You can’t force things to become better. They -- they will, with time, but....”

"You're right."

Leon looks up, puzzled. "Huh?"

"You're right," Kaito says. "Sometimes- sometimes things are bad, and you just have to tolerate it. And that doesn't mean that things won't get better, it just means--"

"Acceptance is the only way out of hell?" Leon says, and his voice is bitter, but not at Kaito. "Fuck. Fuck it. You know where my room is, grab a change of clothes or whatever. I'm - I'm going to have a shower. Be back soon."

"Leon--"

But Leon's already gone, and Kaito's alone. The walls are too white, and Kaito's so, so alone. He breathes deeply through his teeth. Fuck, he needs to get into something dry. He forces himself to keep going, and pushes open the door to Leon's bedroom.

Leon's dorm is unusually spacious. He and Kirumi both have their own seperate rooms, maybe to make up for the lack of any actual common area. But the room is sad and empty; Leon's only got enough stuff to fill only half of it. Along with the standard dorm furniture, he's brought a handful of cheap plastic drawers, crowded together to form a kind of wardrobe. A handful of band posters are pasted up by the head of the bed. There's an unplugged toaster oven lying on its side on the floor, and a couple of terrycloth towels hanging on hooks by the door. A few graphic novels on the desk -- Kaito wanders over and flips through them. The Bride was a Boy, My Solo Exchange Diary -- oh, hey, Kaito's actually read Persepolis! It's heavier reading than he'd expect from Leon, though. But then again, Leon's taking some comics class, right? Probably got assigned to him.

The longer he looks, the more of Leon he sees flowing through the place. Leon is there, in weird discolored patches on the floor and tacky Hot Topic jewelry and in unfolded clothes still piled in the laundry basket. Leon is there in his music collection and his clothes and in the window that's open just a sliver, even though it's been bitingly cold for days. Places take on the qualities of the people who live there. The white walls seem a little less unfriendly.

He starts rifling through the plastic drawers, grabbing whatever seems big enough to fit him. He finds a shirt, and these stretched-out old lounge pants, and then hunts for a pair of underwear. He finds the right drawer, takes a look inside, and --

Kaito shuts the underwear drawer a little too hard. The stack of CD cases on top wobbles precariously. You can't really blame him for that, though. He's never -- well, he's never seen a dildo in real life before. He didn't even know they came in, uh, natural colors. He'd always assumed, with the way Miu used to go on about things, that they only came in various shades of purple. In retrospect, swallowing what Miu said about anything related to sex was probably a bad idea, but she'd always seemed so confident.

Damn, today is nothing but Kaito's sex discoveries, apparently.

He winds up opening the drawer just enough to stick one hand in and root around for a proper pair of boxers, before changing. Wearing Leon's stuff is weird, especially because a lot of it is older clothes he's never seen before. Like, he's got a shirt on from some private academy's softball team -- Leon's furiously Sharpied out the first name of every team member, including himself: black scribble Kuwata. It feels strange, diving into the residue of a history he'll never really know.

But he wants to know. He wants to know everything about Leon. He doesn't want to be a black scribble on Leon's college years. He wants to stay friends with him, forever, and he wants to hold Leon close and thank him a thousand times for getting him out of that dorm room and return that protection a thousand more. He wants to carry Leon forward with him forever. It's not enough to just be a hero. He wants to be Leon's hero.

And that's when things finally slide into place in Kaito's mind. It's kind of dumb, how long it took him to realize, but there's no room to look back, not now. Kaito Momota is no coward, and he's going to face this new phase of his life with bravery and maturity and he is absolutely not panicking about this at all, no sir.

katio momoat krew (and maki too)  
  
Hey guys uhhh I actually need to talk real bad right now okay  
I think I'm in love????!!???!  
maki roll  
Is it Leon  
Excuse me how did you know??!???  
maki roll  
It's really obvious  
Just like with your tennis phase  
"Guys... do you think Ryoma has noticed me yet????!!???!"  
What do you mean it's obvious!?? I didn't figure it out until just now?????  
Also I thought we agreed to NEVER talk about my tennis phase again???  
Your tennis phase was hilarious so no  
just shuichi  
Awww, I'm glad to see you're finally figuring things out  
...Took you long enough XD  
Guys seriously it's not funny  
Today has been like BAD like just awful but I don't want to talk about it rn just play nice  
So we're planning to sleep together tonight what do I do???  
maki roll  
What  
Is this moving too fast?  
just shuichi  
Kaito, you really shouldn't have sex with someone unless you're both sure you want it. Enthusiastic consent is really, really important. You shouldn't do it because you think it's the "right" thing to do, or that it's what people are "supposed" to do in relationships. Sex should be fun for all parties involved! If you're feeling pressured, at all, please get out of there RIGHT NOW, okay?  
What the fuck does sex have to do with this too?  
maki roll  
Are  
Are you having a fucking sleepover  
Yes  
just shuichi  
Jesus Christ Kaito, you practically gave me a heart attack  
...I think the above advice applies to sleepovers too, but take it a little less... intensely?  
Okay  
Thanks. I want to sleep with Leon, I'm just worried about fucking it up  
Like... I don't know. I don't know how people do this. I'm not like, scared or anything, but I'm not used to this.  
And I'm also feeling kinda stressed and overwhelmed bc I messed stuff up with my roommate REALLY BADLY and I'm feeling guilty about that, I guess. I know we'll be able to work it out, but I feel bad for getting Leon involved in that too  
It's a whole thing right now and like everyone messed up but I still feel awful  
I'm sorry you're feeling like that, Kaito. I don't know the details but that sounds like a lot.  
I'm still your friend, no matter what happens at school.  
As for the Leon thing, you deserve someone who cares about you as much as you care about you as you care about everyone around you, and you're a wonderful guy anyone would be lucky to have. Just be yourself! He already likes you enough to have you sleepover, with the way you talk about him I don't think you have much to worry about.  
Thanks. Sorry, it's... been a night on my end, hahaha.  
No problem, we're your friends! We're here for you, Kaito.  
We love you.  
Also, what's Leon's last name again?  
Thanks  
It's Kuwata  
Night talk later  


Kaito didn't exactly feel better when he tapped out of his messaging app. He felt more grounded, though, and that was good. Grounded was good, people told him, but Kaito had never really been one for staying grounded. It didn't feel right to regulate his feelings that way. Kaito hated being tied down

Leon comes back in, changed into some beaten-up set of matching pajamas. The cracked print on the front says "Hop to It!" in bright orange letters, and the pants have holes and cartoon frogs on them. Kaito couldn't help but grin at that. Hop to it -- a good maxim, one to text the crew at some point. "You feeling any better, man?"

"...I hate bathrooms," Leon says. He brushes a wet strand of hair out of his face. "She had a bathroom off her bedroom, you know?"

Well, fuck. They really are just diving right into the ugly stuff, tonight. "You're talking about--"

"Yeah," Leon says. "I'm talking about her."

Fuck. Kaito swallows, and sits down on the edge of Leon's bed. After a moment of hestiation, Leon joins him. 

"You can tell me anything," Kaito says. "Always and forever. You're my sidekick, no matter what."

Leon swings his feet off the side of the bed. "Just... I guess you'd know. Locked in a room and you can't get out and, uh. I don't know."

Kaito remembers lying in a hospital bed, alone. White sheets in white rooms and a ventilator clamped over his face like a death mask. They'd had to repaint his bedroom to a cheery lavender, because the sight of the white walls had made him so upset when he first came home. Even now, he covers his dorm in motivational posters and cheap Target tapestries, anything to cover up the white drywall. It was an emptiness he doesn't like to think about.

"Can I hug you?" Kaito says, because if he can't touch someone tonight, he's probably going to die of loneliness.

Leon pauses, for a second, and then lies down, resting his head in Kaito's lap. His hair is still wet from the shower, and it soaks the fabric of Kaito's pants -- well, Leon's pants that Kaito is wearing? Whatever. He reaches out, and grabs one of Kaito's hands in his. It's intimate, even for them.

"I don't like any of my friends," Leon says thickly. "I don't like my family. I mean, like, I care about them… but I'm so tired of, of all this, you know?"

"I know," Kaito says.

"Most of them don't believe me, for one." Leon's so tense. His fingernails cut into Kaito's hand, hard enough to hurt. "And then the ones who believe me don't… care. All that fuckin' lip service about supporting victims, but none of that gets extended to me? She gets away with everything, she's still, still around, and I'm -- FUCK! Just, just... fuck."

Yeah, that's fucked up.

"For the record, I believe you, man," Kaito says.

"Well, people don't," Leon says. He turns onto his side, burying his face again Kaito's middle.

"But people should. We need to believe in each other, that's how we get by! No man's ever going to make it to space alone."

Leon's voice is muffled, his face still pressed to Kaito's stomach. "It's just… how many more times am I going to go through this?" It's pathetic. It's nothing like the Leon he loves.

It makes Kaito fucking furious, that this is what Leon's been reduced to. Wait -- that's probably not the best way to think about it. It upsets him that… that Leon has been hurt, and that people are callous enough to ignore that. Yeah. He squeezes Leon's hand back, and clings like it's all that's keeping him alive. "Well, you've got me to protect you, now!"

"Idiot," Leon says, but there's no passion in the insult.

Kaito grabs him by the shoulders, and forcefully rolls him over onto his back. "Dude, I'd key her car for you." Leon snorts, like he doesn't quite believe it, a half-smile playing across his face. "I'm serious! I'd key the hell out of anyone's car for you. Did it for Maki Roll, I'd do it for you too. I'd fuck her up! I'd punch her so good!"

"...thanks," Leon says. It sounds real enough.

"But, yeah, no more talking about it or whatever! I know you don't want to, so I can wait -- you can always talk to me, man--"

"Kaito?"

"Yeah?"

"Shut the fuck up."

So he does, and he just sits there, cradling Leon in his arms.

Both Kaito and Leon are super physical guys. It's nice, having someone who wants touch as much as Kaito does. Shuichi and Maki always put up with his hugs, but that's the thing -- they were just putting up with it, at some point. He knows he's clingy, but who wouldn't be, after spending so much of his childhood lying untouched under white bedspreads? And Leon, Leon can't keep his hands off Kaito. They've always got their arms thrown over each other's shoulders, always nuzzling against each other. But this? This is probably the closest they've ever been together. Like, there's nothing inherently gay about two guys hugging, but then again, Leon's... maybe not a guy. And Kaito wouldn't ever touch a girl like this, not even Maki Roll, because you don't touch a girl like this unless you're doing what Mondo and Mikan and Kaede are probably busy doing right now. Like, if Leon were a girl, this would be romantic. This would be further than any of the shonen heroes he likes would ever go with their love interests.

And, like. He likes Leon. He like-likes Leon! He just had a big weird confession session with Shuichi, and he knows it's okay to have whatever emotions he has, but like. It's so strange, to him, to be feeling like this. It's so curious, the way he's thinking right now, because this has never been his idea of that he wants. Just... they all sounded so happy in the lower bunk. He's not sure -- well, no, he knows what he wants, he wants to go to space. That's what he wants. But while he's here on Earth, why can't he just want what's right?

It's so wrong to be thinking about kissing Leon right now. Leon's just poured his soul out to Kaito, and all Kaito can think about is how wonderful and brave and amazing it is for Leon to trust him with that, and how much he wants Leon to know how much he appreciates that faith, and how he wants to maybe brush his lips on Leon's cheek. He's close enough that he could do it, just lean forward and get that impulsive desire done with.

He shouldn't, though.

"'m sorry," Leon says. He sits up, slides away from Kaito. "You just -- and I'm making this all about me. God, I'm such a dick."

"Let's just forget about this for now," Kaito says. "We don't need to think about this! We're here, now, together."

"Yeah."

"Let's just chill and watch something dumb and get our minds off this shit! Because we deserve that!"

Leon nods, slowly. "Have... have you ever seen the Great British Bake Off?"

"Dude, I live with my grandparents. We've seen every season."

When Kaito wakes up Sunday morning, the rain has stopped. Delicate morning light streams through the window, illuminating dancing dust particles. Leon's still asleep, curled up against him. For once, Leon seems fully free of tension. The new day seems to have washed everything away, bathed everything in a light sugar-spun sweetness, or maybe that was the sugarwork from last night's TV. He wants to live in this perfect moment forever. 

But he also needs to go take his pills and a piss.

He's in the bathroom, brushing his teeth with Leon's toothbrush, when he realizes Shuichi and Maki have been blowing up the chat all night.

katio momoat krew (and maki too)  
  
What the hell happened in here last night  
Oh my got have you two been Facebook stalking Leon  
STOP  
maki roll  
Too late  
  
NO!!!!  
DO NOT STAB HIM  
just shuichi  
Sorry Kaito we're detectives here  
Only the best for our captain!  
maki roll  
Have you found anything really stabworthy yet Shuichi  
just shuichi  
Nothing I haven't sent you yet  
...Wait no I just found a Minions meme knife emoji away  
STOP  
This is most embarrassing moment of my life I never want to experience feelings again  
Maki you had better not be typing what I think you're typing  
maki roll  
What about the time with the tennis club fundraiser where you bought at least 30 tickets with your lunch money to impress Ryoma and none of them won anything so you kept buying more and then Ryoma bought one and won the raffles grand prize and you cried like a baby and Shuichi took pity on you and gave you half his sandwiches for week so you didn't starve  
Those were manly tears!!!!  
AND WE AGREED TO NEVER TALK ABOUT TENNIS AGAIN  
GOODBYE FOREVER YOU JERKS  


Turning a smartphone off is frustratingly unsatisfying. Kaito's first phone could be snapped closed with the full strength of a man's passion. Now he has to settle for firmly placing it down on the side of the sink. It's not what it once was, you know?

He drops by Leon's room, once he's done with his morning hygiene stuff. It's always strange, doing that whole routine in a new place, and he's itching for the familiarity of his grandparents' house.

"Good morning," he says to Leon, who's blearily rubbing the back of his wrist over his face.

"Morning," Leon says. "You work me up, man."

"Sorry," Kaito says. "Uh, I have to head out--"

Leon rolls his eyes. "Get back here." He sits up, letting the covers crumpled together. "I want to finish this season of Bakeoff with you."

Kaito thinks about all the studying he should do today. He thinks about working out. He thinks about Shuichi and Maki, and being alone, and working himself to the bone. He thinks about cheating on his SATs. He thinks about his 3.98 GPA, and how hard he'd freaked over his one B, terrified that that failure was going to be what kept him from his dreams. He thinks about being being so scared to die without having accomplished everything.

He thinks about how badly he fucked up last night.

He thinks about Leon, who's booting up his laptop, lips pursed as he hunt-and-pecks for his password. He thinks about Leon, who's still here.

"I have feelings for you," Kaito says, still standing in the doorway.

"Cool," Leon says. "Me too. C'mon, I want to watch Paul say more mean shit."

Kaito goes back to bed.

katio momoat krew (and maki too)  
  
Hey, thank you guys so much  
I was going through alot last night and I want to thank you two for being there  
I'm feeling alot better  
Also I think I'm dating Leon now  
just shuichi  
Congratulations Kaito!!! I'm so happy for you :))  
Thanks man!  
maki roll  
  
...what does that have to do with anything?  
  
???  
  
just shuichi  
Oh god Maki stop teasing him  
maki roll  
Okay but only because it's too easy   
Seriously, what am I missing here?!?!!!??  


Eventually, he does have to go back to his dorm. Kirumi finally gets back from her night shift, and she needs her sleep. Kaito walks back across campus wearing another one of Leon's old t-shirts, this musty grey thing that has a hole in the armpit. It doesn't really smell like Leon, but he sniffs it anyways, and pretends it does, which is kind of a crazy-person thing to do, but whatever. Seriously, he only left a few minutes ago.

Kaito knocks before unlocking the door to the quad. His quad smells like excessive amounts of orange-scented spray, the stinky kind they use in the bathrooms to cover up the stench of shit. The couch is unusually occupied; Mondo, Kaede, and Mikan have somehow managed to find a way to fit all three of them on there. There's a handful of plates in the kitchenette sink, and an empty carton of eggs in the communal trashcan. The place feels homey, for once.

"Hey guys," Kaito says, "I just wanted to let you know I'm sorry about last night. I fucked up and I didn't know what to do about it, and I hope you can forgive me."

Mondo's frozen in place, a forkful of eggs halfway to his open mouth. Mikan reaches out, and rests a hand on his bicep. Mondo relaxes slightly, and Kaede smiles at him. The three of them are sickeningly in synch, sharing some sort of silent understanding. Kaito's jealous. He wonders if he and Leon will ever have that fluid ease, rather than their stop-and-start friction. He hopes they will.

"Thanks, Kaito," Kaede says, "I really appreciate that."

"Yeah," Mondo grunts, "sorry 'bout trying to punch you."

"And we're sorry about having assumed you knew what was up," Kaede says. "We should have been more considerate there."

"I-I'm sorry I was born!"

"You don't have to apologize for that one, Mikan," Kaito says. "Actually, none of you need to apologize. I'm sorry for assuming that it was okay to stick around."

"And I'm sorry for assuming that you left!" Kaede crosses her arms. "Jeez, Kaito, just take the apology. We're taking yours!"

"Okay, okay," he says, raising his hands in surrender. "You win!"

"Are we cool?" Mondo asks.

"The coolest," Kaito says, and they high-five. "Hey, I'm going to my room, is that..."

"Don't worry! W-we cleaned up," Mikan says, a bright flush creeping up to her ears. "Ehehhehehe...."

Well, Kaito's work is done here! He waves goodbye to the three of them, and goes back to his bedroom. Mikan wasn't kidding; it's the cleanest the place has been since he moved in. Kaito thinks they might have mopped. The floor is clean, the walls are covered in motivational posters, and suddenly something clicks and the dorm feels like a home again. It's his space, his walls, his bed to have sex in, if he winds up wanting that. He gets to make this place his own, in the same ways that Mondo does. It's their space, and it's going to be amazing.

He wants Leon to be here. He suddenly misses Leon, with an overwhelming passion, and a hot pressure in his abdomen. He climbs up onto the top bunk, stares up at the ceiling, and pulls his phone out of his back pocket.

Leon picks up on the third ring. "Hey Kaito."

"Hey," Kaito says. He looks at the glow-in-the-dark stars, with their slightly off-white tint, and listens to Leon breathing on the other end of the line. It's kind of weird.

There's the sound of papers shuffling on the other end. Kaito hopes Leon's actually doing his homework for once. "So, is there a reason you called me, or...."

"Do you... do you want to go to this obstacle course place I saw online," Kaito says.

Even without visuals, Kaito can tell that Leon's giving him a look. "Um, no?"

"But they have a bouncy house! And there's these really cool teambuilding exercises where we all get to--"

"Dinner and a movie," Leon says.

"But--"

"Obstacle courses are second-date material at best," Leon says with the full confidence of someone who had actually been on a date before.

"Okay," Kaito says. His chest twinges a little. He really, really wanted to go to the obstacle course place.

"And we're going to the real movie theater, not that stupid arthouse place downtown. And I get to pick out the movie for saving you yesterday."

"Fine," Kaito says, and adds, "no horror."

There's an uncomfortable pause between them. It's the kind of silence that would be super fulfilling in person, but just doesn't work on the phone. All that Kaito can think about is what the hell do you do with a boyfriend, he didn't plan for this, there is absolutely no way he can take Leon to space or to meet his grandparents, this is--

"See you," Leon says, and hangs up.

"Bye!" Kaito says to the dial tone, and closes his eyes. It's okay. He's okay. Leon's okay. Mondo and Mikan and Kaede are okay. Maki and Shuichi are okay. He feels like the whole world is okay, like everything will pass, eventually. Like he's radiating goodwill out into the universe, and somehow, that'll turn back around and come back to him and everything and everyone he loves. And Kaito loves everyone in the whole world. Kaito really, really does.

Even he can't maintain that high forever. The wave of bliss washes back away, and for once, he's not desperate to chase it down again. It'll come back again, after all, steady as the tides. The moon's gravity will always be there, pulling him into place.

leon!!!   
  
Hey I just wanted to say I care about you and you're an amazing sidekick and I trust you're going to pick out the most amazing movie for us to watch!!!! I believe in you so much, and follow your dreams!!!!  
oh my god  
love u 2 stupid  



End file.
